It is hard to imagine that this tough, tattooed man with a masculine voice and G.I Joe body has a vulva between his legs—and was known as Susan. Buck Angel is an international adult entertainer better known around the world as “The Man With a Pussy.”
His porn career began in the early 2000s when the sex business had expanded its boundaries to transsexual performers.
Angel is considered a pioneer in many aspects in gay industry: he is the first transsexual man to be featured in an all-male film, produced by an exclusively gay porn company and performed in the first pornographic scene ever filmed between a trans woman and a trans man in the movie Allanah Starr’s Big Boob Adventures.
Before Caitlyn Jenner and Laverne Cox got the spotlight and the attention of the media, the name Buck Angel was already breaking taboos in Europe, United States and beyond—awakening people’s sexual emotions perhaps never explored before.
However, his career has not been easy. He had to overcome many different obstacles imposed not only by the society of the 90s and the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) community, but also by his own demons and ups and downs.
In 2013, director Dan Hunt filmed the documentary, Mr. Angel, and the world saw a sensitive man who continues dealing with the harsh memories from the past.
Now, his career has taken another direction away from the porn industry, and despite going through a divorce with his 11 years partner, Elayne Angel—famous for practicing a genital piercing on Lenny Kravitz—he continues attending conferences, even at Harvard University.
Fusion Magazine had the opportunity to talk with Mr. Angel to know more about his career, life and the pros and cons of the gay porn industry.
When did you decide to transition into a man? Did you already have in mind to start doing porn?
No, I did not. My transition was over 20 years ago. I was not very comfortable with my body 20 years ago. I didn’t even like my vagina, so it was hard for me to even have sex. So, pornography really didn’t come to a thought in my head until I became very comfortable sexually with my body, which took me 10 years of my transition until I decided that.
What was the harder situation you had to experience when you started doing porn?
My harder experience for me was my own community. The LGBTQ, mostly trans man, were very negative toward me, and said very ugly mean things to me. They said that I could not be a man because I have a vagina, that I was not really a transsexual, what you are doing is horrible for the trans men community. It’s quite fascinating to me that you move now to today 12 years later that I started my work, there are now many men calling themselves men with vaginas. But they didn’t do it before me.
Why do you think many gay porn performers commit suicide? Is the industry really hard to deal with?
Wow, that’s a very tough question to answer. Again, this is my own thought—I don’t know why that happens, but yes, pornography is a very difficult thing. Once you go into pornography you can’t never leave. And what I mean by that, is that’s not all I do anymore. I do way more things more than pornography: I speak all over the world, I do activism, I do all kinds of things, but my name is now attached to pornography forever. Even if I want to say, I don’t do porn, it doesn’t matter. I think what happens is that maybe they get depressed because they can’t see people look at them in a different light. In the United States and many parts of the world, people who do sex work or pornography are looked down upon as a negative thing. There is a lot of psychological stuff that happens with doing public sex and doing pornography that people don’t understand that we need to deal with daily. Yes, some pornography gay men have killed themselves, and it’s super sad, and we need to figure out why this is happening.
What were the main reasons you moved out of the United States? How has being away from the country affected your career?
One reason that I moved out of the United States is because the government. During that time, president Bush was in office and he was not doing positive things for our country. He was going to war, the economy—people were suffering. Also, I was living in New Orleans, Louisiana and hurricane Katrina hit, and nobody gets anything. I was discouraged by my country because I am a proud American. I love being American, but I was very discouraged by the way people were being treated. That’s why I chose to move to Mexico for 10 years. Mexico is a beautiful country and amazing people. My career was not affected in any way. It became better when I moved there because I could concentrate more on my career. I did not have to worry about making too much money to live or health care. You know, it is very expensive to live in the United States, and our economy is so bad. So, moving to Mexico was actually a positive thing in many ways for me.
How have you been treated in a country were many would say is ruled by the machista beliefs and with violence against gay people?
Those same things that you are talking about Mexico happen in the United States, and I have to say to you, I think that this happens more in the United States than they do in Mexico; there is a lot of misconception in the United States about Mexico. I lived there for 10 years and I never had one single problem with anybody, in fact, they welcomed me with open arms. I had made so many amazing, loving, beautiful relationships with Mexican people. I spoke all over the country in universities and they respect me highly in Mexico. I saw a lot of people doing activism and through their activism, many laws have changed in Mexico. There are some problems because of the diversity of the economy. There are poor and rich people, and that caused many problems, but those same problems are the same in the United States. In Mexico, I can go to the doctor for 2.50 dollar! You can’t go to the United States for less than 500 dollars (laughs). My experience of Mexico is beautiful, amazing and nothing bad to say about Mexico.
Why are transsexuals like Caitlyn Jenner or Laverne Cox celebrated and recognized while other transsexuals are rejected by society?
Well, that is a question you can easily answer; it is because they are famous. They already have people looking at them in a very specific way. But believe me, they are not accepted a hundred percent. There are many people that say many mean things about them. They already have a way they can go out into the world. They have money, they have fame, they can have transition easier than most of the other people in the world. But that said, them being visible is one of the most important things for our community right now because when people have visibility and they see what it means to be a transsexual person, people learn from that and eventually they will be accepting of us much more.
Now that you are a successful educator, lecturer, writer and motivational speaker for LGBTQ rights, how do you feel about this new part of your life?
Oh, gosh, I feel very blessed. I feel a lot of gratitude and I feel a lot of love. Sometimes I can’t believe that it is my life because when you watch my documentary, when I was younger I tried to commit suicide and I had an alcohol and drug problem, all of these things that many people have today, many of our youth have, so I feel like I’m just supposed to be doing this. It feels so natural to me. I feel a lot of gratitude and I feel very happy that my place is this right now. Sometimes I sit down in my chair and I just look and think—wow, I can’t believe this is my life.
What do you feel when people and media refer to you as a gay icon?
I don’t even know how to answer that (laughs). I don’t know, I feel honored. Mostly I feel very honored that people think of me as an icon, but I am just like everybody else. I don’t feel any different than you or anybody. I feel at the same level as everybody else. I don’t feel that I am more important than anybody. I might be famous but it doesn’t matter for me. The most important thing is to speak with everybody, to speak with the people on the streets. I want people know they can call me, they can talk to me or send me an email. I am not going to be a big star that would look down to people, never, never. I would always be very grateful for my life.
The life-size sculpture that artist Marc Quinn made of your body is really amazing. What was your first reaction when you saw it?
I cried. I couldn’t believe it! I have a sculpture of my own body! I just cried because it is hard to explain, as well because it is very surreal to go to a famous artist gallery and look at yourself and something that would be there forever—100 years, when I die, that sculpture still be there, so it’s an honor.
When Buck Angel looks back to the past and then to the present, what are your thoughts about your life and career?
My presence in the world is so much more important now, as everybody else’s presence who are transgender people, in that my presence has become something that can make people understand that they can become what they want to be, no matter whatever that means. So, when I looked back, I think when I was a little kid I wanted to be a boy, I didn’t have the people that we have today. For me it feels amazing that I can have young people or old people, or people look at me and say, “that’s what I want to be like, I want to be a man who feel comfortable with his body.”
Is there anything you would say, it if was possible, to your 15 year old self?
Yeah, I want to say…relax, don’t beat yourself up, be proud of yourself because in 20 years, you gonna be the man you wanna be. Just have patience.
What has been the best advise Mr. Angel has received during his lifetime that could share with young gay people?
The best advice that I have and I would like to share with young people and even with the world, is remove your ego, and have lots of gratitude. Every day no matter what you’re feeling bad about, no matter what, somebody else is having a horrible, horrible worse day than you—I guarantee you. But be grateful for everything you have in your life today! That’s what I want to tell young people. Have gratitude, and have gratitude for everything that you have, because when you have that, everything else will come to you.
While wrapping up the interview, Mr. Angel shared that his 11 year marriage had ended. In the process of this separation, Mr. Angel’s ex-wife betrayed him by taking away his money and denying his gender court. While dealing with the divorce and the mess that it entails, he has decided to remain positive about the upcoming projects.
Text: Jorge A. Hernández
Photo: Buck Angel